Secondary virginity as a way out!
By Marty Deng
I personally don’t like to use the term secondary virginity because the word virgin itself means someone who has never had sexual intercourse (oral sex is the same as sexual intercourse—if you’re thinking about living a pure life, you’ll stay away as far as possible from any compromising situation or anything that causes you to lust).1 This is not the end of the world though.
There is no sin that God cannot forgive. So you lost your virginity, there’s no way you can gain it back no matter how much you wish to. But don’t lose hope as the devils want you to. The Bible promises that you can be forgiven and spiritually purified as long as you repent, confess your sins and believe in the name of Jesus Christ.
“God will forgive you when you make a mistake, but some mistakes don’t give you a second chance, because you die from them.” Every time you make mistakes, confess it in prayer right away and ask for forgiveness and you can be assured of His forgiveness. Some people may not understand the reason why life is still tough and difficult even after they repented. With all of the limitations in my knowledge, I’ll try my best to explain why. First of all, even though God forgives us, “the pain, the memory, the guilt, and the shame that go along with them may never leave us.”2 And God never takes the consequences of what we have done in the past, either good or bad.
The analogy I can use as an illustration is when a man committed a sin and it cost his right arm as a result. When he repented and confessed his sin to God, surely enough God would forgive him, however God would never restore his arm. As he looks at his body without his right arm, the memory, the pain, the guilt, and regret will come and go from time to time. It will serve as a reminder for him not to make the same mistake, but one thing that he can be sure is that he will never have to ask for forgiveness again, because he is already completely forgiven.
God’s forgiveness means that He will never use our mistakes to hold against us. And just by this fact alone, we can be forever grateful.
I hope this explanation can kill two birds with one stone. For those of you who are thinking that they can sin and ask God’s forgiveness later, please let me give you a friendly admonition to hold your thoughts and consider what price you have to pay when you test God (Galatians 6:7).
And for those of you who have crossed the line, you can always come to Him, repent, and seek His forgiveness and ask for strengths to follow His commands. Don’t believe in the lies of the devils that will try to make you think that it’s too late and you’re not worthy to start over. God’s mercy and love is great that He will always accept you like a father to His children (Luke 15:11-32).
Remember that when God forgives us, we are to forgive ourselves as well and focus on our future.
Know this, “You can be deliberate. You can be more pure in heart and more single-minded than those who have never been caught in their lustful attitudes.”3 So let me say it again, it’s never too late!
1 Webster’s New Worlds Dictionary (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1988).
2 Bill Sanders, Outtakes: Devotions for Girls (Grand Rapids: Fleming Revell, 1988), 33.
3 Laurel L. Cornell, “Pure Again,” Boundless Webzine, 1999, 6 June 2000.